Parenting can be one of the most rewarding, yet challenging jobs there is. Many parents want to help their children grow into kind, thoughtful, and responsible individuals. However, figuring out the best way to encourage positive behavior can be difficult!
One of the most effective ways to help your child through life is through reinforcement. Reinforcement is a term that originates in behavioral psychology where a stimulus is introduced following a behavior, which will increase the likelihood that the behavior will happen again. In other words, reinforcement is how parents react to their children, which teaches them what to expect in the future. Whether it be praise or punishment, you are shaping the way that your child behaves. Behaviors are actions, reactions, or responses that a person has in response to their surroundings. Examples of behaviors can include eye rolling, crying, studying, or even laughing.
In this post, you will learn about different types of reinforcement, tips for using reinforcement, and information on how working with a therapist may be beneficial. Ultimately, using reinforcements successfully will strengthen your connection with your child while building a foundation of trust and predictability for your child.
Different types of Reinforcement:
Your reaction to your child crying, throwing a tantrum, or getting good grades can make a big difference in whether or not they will repeat those behaviors. There are four main types of reinforcement that play a role in shaping behaviors.
Positive Reinforcement: When you encourage behavior by giving something your child likes to encourage good behavior
Example: Your child finishes their homework so you give them extra screen time before bed
Negative Reinforcement: When you take away something that is unpleasant to your child to encourage good behavior
Example: If a child eats all of their vegetables at dinner, then they do not have to do the dishes
Positive Punishment: When you add something that your child doesn’t like to discourage bad behavior
Example: Your child throws a toy and you have to put them in a time-out
Negative Punishment: Removing something that your child enjoys to discourage bad behavior
Example: Your teenager come home late from hanging out with friends so you remove their phone for a day
How do I Decide Which Form of Reinforcement to Use?
Parenting isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation. Deciding which type of reinforcement to use depends on the specific behavior that you are trying to address, your child’s temperament, and your family’s values. Parents may need to take time and reflect on their own personal values. Every family has a unique set of values which may vary depending on culture, personal beliefs, or experiences. Do you want your child to be academically driven? Self-reliant? Respecting authority and rules? Ultimately, the goal is to create an environment where your child knows what’s expected of them. This can help you to establish a strong connection with your child, support them through difficulties understanding boundaries, and allow them space to truly understand the difference between right and wrong.
Things to Keep in Mind
While using the various forms of reinforcement previously mentioned, here are some things to consider:
Timing: It is important to give reinforcement closer to the behavior. For example, if your child cleans their room, you want to give them a sticker right away so that they make a strong connection between the behavior and the reward. If your child cleans their room and you give them a sticker a week later, they may have a difficult time making the connection.
Consistency: It is incredibly important to maintain a regular schedule of reinforcement. This helps children to know what is expected of them. It also helps them to understand what to expect from you as a parent.
Environment: Parents need to understand what behaviors they want to reinforce and where they want those behaviors to happen. The environment plays a big role in helping children understand when behaviors are appropriate.
For example, if your child is allowed to walk inside with their shoes on in your home but not your neighbor’s house, you may need to focus on reinforcing the behavior while at your neighbors house even if the rules are different at home.
How Therapy Can Help
Parenting can feel overwhelming at times, and it is normal to want extra support. Working with a therapist can help you to stay on track with your reinforcement schedule and ensure that you are remaining consistent with how you approach specific behaviors. A therapist can also help you to clarify your personal values and identify which behaviors you want to increase or decrease based on what is important to you. A therapist can also help you to communicate these behavioral expectations of behavior to your child. They may even be able to help identify which type of reinforcement is most beneficial and will suit your specific situation. Finally, a therapist can help you to manage your own emotional reactions to your children’s behaviors. Children can often trigger strong thoughts or feelings within parents and having someone to talk to can benefit both you and your child. Ultimately, a therapist can support you and your child while you navigate the difficulties that come with being a parent!
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Written By,
Jordan Adamson, LPC
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