Humor is an important factor in all aspects of life. It is something that can make someone’s mood instantly better, it’s something that can bring people together, it’s something that is proven to help with so many different things, and it’s something that is universal. As most of us have heard it said before, “laughter is the best medicine.” But what some people don’t know is that laughter actually does have a positive impact on our brain and our mental health.
Laughter keeps our blood vessels healthy, it triggers our brain’s reward systems, and contributes positively to our emotional, cognitive, and social well-being. Humor is an important tool that impacts the brain in various beneficial ways, from enhancing cognitive function and relieving pain to improving mood and furthering social connections.
Laughter and humor can also play vital roles in reducing stress and strengthening the bond between partners. Let’s look more in-depth at how these elements contribute to healthier and happier relationships:
First, let’s look at how humor can reduce overall stress.
Physiological Benefits:
Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, our body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
Engaging in humor and laughter reduces cortisol, which is the stress hormone. Lower cortisol levels help mitigate the physical effects of stress, such as increased heart rate and blood pressure.
Laughter causes physical relaxation of muscles, which can alleviate tension for up to 45 minutes.
Psychological Benefits:
Humor shifts focus away from negative emotions and can help people view situations from a different, more positive perspective; overall, improving their mood.
Regular laughter and humor can build emotional resilience, making it easier to cope with difficult situations.
Now, let’s take a look at how humor and laughter can help to increase and strengthen the relationship and their bond.
Enhanced Communication:
Sharing laughter and humor can break down barriers, making partners feel more comfortable to be open and vulnerable with one another.
Humor creates positive interactions, which overall can reduce the impact of conflicts and disagreements.
Increased Intimacy:
Laughing together fosters a sense of shared joy and happiness, which can enhance emotional intimacy and connection.
When partners laugh together, it signals a safe and trusting environment, crucial for deepening intimacy.
Conflict Resolution:
Humor can defuse tense situations and prevent conflicts from escalating. It provides a light-hearted way to address and navigate disagreements.
Humor can help partners see conflicts from a different perspective, making it easier to find common ground at times.
Social Bonding:
Creating and recalling humorous memories strengthens the bond between partners through shared experiences.
Humor fosters a sense of belonging and unity, reinforcing the idea that the partners are a team.
Now that we’ve identified why and how laughter and humor can be great tools amongst relationships, it’s important to know how to incorporate them more intentionally, both in therapy and throughout your daily lives.
Incorporating humor into couples counseling sessions can be an effective way to reduce tensions, build rapport, and facilitate open communication. Here are some techniques that therapists may use to bring humor into the therapeutic process.
Reframing in a light-hearted way:
Example - When a couple is stuck in a negative pattern of communication, the therapist might try and reframe the situation in a humorous way. For instance, if one partner constantly forgets to do a chore, the therapist might say something that can help the couple see the situation from a less serious perspective.
Role-Playing with a twist:
Example - The therapist might ask the couple to role-play a recent argument, but with a humorous twist. They could switch roles and purposefully exaggerate each other’s behaviors in a playful, fun manner. This can sometimes help partners see their actions and reactions in a new light and foster more empathy.
Creating inside jokes:
Example - The therapist might help the couple create inside jokes based on their shared experiences in therapy. For instance, if the couple frequently discusses a specific topic, the therapist might come up with a funny nickname or phrase for it that they can use to lighten the mood in future discussions.
Creating a “humor jar”:
Example - The therapist can suggest that the couple create a “humor jar” at home where they place funny notes, jokes, cartoons, etc. When they feel stressed or upset, they can pull out a note from the jar to help increase their mood.
Using humor throughout therapy can definitely be a great way to foster a positive and collaborative atmosphere, but it’s important to remember there is always a time and place for humor as well as a time to be more serious and to build in humor at the appropriate times.
It’s also even more important to continue to incorporate humor and laughter on a daily basis outside of the therapeutic setting. Here are a few practical ways to intentionally include humor throughout your relationship:
Regularly share funny stories and jokes that make each of you laugh
Enjoy movies, TV shows, or stand-up comedies that you both find amusing
Engage in gentle, playful teasing that both partners enjoy and that can help strengthen your bond
Develop your own inside jokes that remind you of shared moments and experiences
Incorporate playfulness into your daily interactions, whether through silly games, funny faces, or light-hearted banter
Laughter and humor can be wonderful and powerful tools for reducing stress and enhancing the bond in a relationship. They promote physical relaxation, improve mood, and foster emotional connection and intimacy. By being purposeful about incorporating humor into your relationship, you can build a resilient, joyful, and deeply connected partnership.
Written By,
Emily Blair, ALMFT
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