Each week, I have a client think of a question. We write this question on a sticky note, then we post it on the wall. This client is the first client of mine to write their own answer on a new sticky note to put on the same wall. My following clients will write their own answers on sticky notes as well. I try to remind everyone to answer the weekly question. I feel like doing this activity brings a sense of community for my younger clients. It makes them a part of something small, yet fun, creative, and some weeks, thought provoking. One week it was asking about one’s favorite food, one week it’s asking cats or dogs, and this week it was “what is one way you can express your feelings?”. I may rephrase this question to “what is one way you can communicate how you feel?”.
This was a great question that my client came up with. Then later thinking to myself from my observations, it's difficult for others to figure out ways to express their feelings. There are so many ways to express them, kids and even adults may not register most of them.
Guidance to Assist You On Your Journey for Expressing Your Feelings
When I asked my Dad if he had any ideas that I could add to this blog about ways to express your feelings - you know what he said? “Loudly”. Yeah, no, I wouldn’t recommend that. Although, I would definitely recommend what my clients wrote in their answers.
The answers written on my wall include:
Writing
It’s not easy for someone to tell someone else how they feel. Even when the person they want to talk to has no involvement in their current situation. Either way, it’s hard to feel comfortable to express their feelings. Therefore, writing is a great solution for that. You can text it out, or physically write it down. Even if you don’t give it to someone to read, you’re still releasing those feelings. You can also be creative and write a story that is similar to your situation.
Art/drawing
Ever heard of art therapy? You can do that at home too, in a way. It’s also great to know that art is a useful coping strategy. No matter how little you may think about art, it’s bigger than what you might expect. For example, when you think of sadness, what color do you think of? Wait, let me read your mind… Blue? When you think of happiness?... yellow?
Experienced artists might create art that portrays how they feel. For example, a sunny day might mean one is feeling good, while a rainstorm might mean someone is depressed. Unfortunately, I’m not one of those “experienced artists” and can basically only draw a stick figure- but others might be able to visualize certain facial expressions or colors to match the theme of the feeling.
Words
Yeah, I know. I had the same reaction as you right now. This client is a silly one. I know I could have added this one to writing, but I wanted to keep it by itself :).
Eye-contact
This client was on the right track. When talking about feelings, eye-contact can be essential. Eye-contact can help make someone feel understood and heard. If there is nothing of the sort, they may feel unimportant.
Music
When I originally mentioned the idea of music, one of my clients questioned that. So you know what I did? I brought up Taylor Swift. You would think this would help my client understand, right? Nope. He showed disdain in his face. Because of me mentioning THE Taylor Swift. So instead, I named Jelly Roll, whom I know this client enjoys listening to. Taylor Swift is just such a good example. She writes so many songs that express her feelings of events and relationships in her life. I get it, I’m not a total fan of hers either, but she is a true artist and shows it well.
For an even deeper example that includes Taylor Swift, she has a song named “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart”. Some of her lyrics are:
“I cry a lot but I am so productive, it's an art
You know you're good when you can even do it
With a broken heart”
She’s expressing her feelings and emotions in her music!!
Talking/talking to someone/getting things off your chest
Same with writing, it’s good to feel free to say what’s on your mind.
Pointing
Pointing (not surprising for me but might be surprising to you)! When someone is in the red zone, being able to point can be a lot easier for them but also for the person trying to communicate with them. When we’re in that red zone, we’re unable to process things easily. Therefore, pointing is a quick way of expressing one’s feelings or even just communicating them.
Tell whomever that you need to take a break
This could help someone if they have a problem with saying things they don’t mean. So when someone is getting frustrated, maybe expressing their frustration by telling someone they need a break. Then, they can come back when they’re ready.
(These are all great tips!)
Overall
I hope that this blog has helped you build some insight how different ways to express your own feelings. If you think talking about your feelings can be difficult, try writing a story or using your creativity skills to make a picture. Either way, you’re not alone. Your support group will be by your side when you need them!
At Cutting Edge Counseling of the North Shore, we're proud to offer our services to clients in Northbrook and the surrounding communities, including Glenview, Deerfield, Highland Park, Wheeling, Northfield, Glencoe, Winnetka, Buffalo Grove, Riverwoods, Lincolnshire, Prospect Heights, Vernon Hills, Mount Prospect, Arlington Heights, and Des Plaines. Our commitment is to provide personalized and effective therapy to help you achieve your goals.
Written By,
Eliana Cohn, LSW
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